How often do you say yes? Every time someone asks you to do something? Some of the time? Or do you always find yourself saying no?
If you find yourself stuck in a rut of negativity, we’re going to talk about how to climb your way out. Stick around.
How To Stop The Constant NO
Today, I’m going to talk to you about the power of saying YES. There is an incredible, almost magical thing that happens in our brains when we say yes.
Do you feel like you are mired in the world of no? Do you feel safely ensconced in its warm embrace, wrapped up in negative response?
Don’t worry, this is a natural reaction. It becomes very hard to say yes to anything when you are depressed.
I can understand this. Not that long ago, I was in a very dark place. I was overwhelmed with postpartum depression and chronic pain. I felt like I couldn’t say yes to anything without losing another small piece of myself.
Like I talked about in my last post, I started to take small steps towards healing myself and as one of those steps I added the small task of saying yes to a few things.
The first time I said it, I felt like I’d betrayed myself. It felt like I put a crack in this shell of isolation I had created around myself. I was so scared, but something magical was happening inside my brain.
Do you know what happened after I said yes? Nothing terrible! My children’s faces lit up. My husband was pleased. We did an activity as a
family and it encouraged me to say yes again.
Saying YES Unlocks Your Brain
Now let me tell you about what was going on inside of my brain. Imagine little pathways in your mind. These highways inside your brain are running around, carrying thoughts. And just like our freeways outside, these pathways can get filled up by negative thoughts and gunk and goo. They get blocked, so that positivity can’t traverse.
When you say yes, it is like a power wash of positivity, pushing energy through these pathways. Saying yes clears them out, making them usable again so that positive thought has the ability to pass back and forth openly. This incredible energy has the ability to move freely through your brain. It opens your brain to positive thinking again and now that your brain is functioning for positive thought, you want to say yes more. You are encouraged to do more positive thinking.
Using The Healthy No
While it’s very healthy for our brains and our hearts to say yes, there are times when our limits are reached and saying yes is no longer the proper response. That’s when it’s time for the healthy NO.
When you find yourself stretched to the point where your health or good will is compromised, then saying no is the correct, positive response.
Don’t Try To Be A Pleaser
Tell me if you’ve ever put yourself into this bad cycle.
My husband wants the world. He is so driven and so motivated to get it, which is wonderful. I want it too, but he has much more endurance than I do.
I get tapped out and need a break, but if I don’t tell him, he obviously doesn’t know. If he keeps asking for more and I keep saying yes, then how is he supposed to know when I’m done? Eventually, I get overwhelmed and end up crying and he gets upset that I’m upset. Things don’t get done and everything falls apart. Sound familiar?
Here’s what should have happened all those times. I should have given him the honest NO at the time when I had reached my limit. Even better would be before I reached my limit, because that would head off the whole problem.
If you just keep saying yes, it’s not good for anyone.
Saying NO Is Not Negative
The honest no doesn’t go back and clog up those positive pathways with negativity. It actually helps to strengthen the foundations of these pathways, because you are standing up for yourself.
You are improving your growth, strengthening yourself, and hence strengthening these pathways. It’s just further positivity.
Let me know how this goes for you. Leave me a comment!
If there’s a topic you’d like me to cover, let me know. I’m always interested to have new ideas.
Until next time, I’ve been Jamie.